Friday, December 20, 2013

Forgoing the Comfortable for the Unknown

Recently, I've encountered a few situations which have taught me the valuable lesson of accepting changes and the uncertainties of the unknown. I always think of the Adventure WV Community as a group of open-minded individuals, and so I wanted to share what I have learned with everyone via this blog. During my summers, I’ve talked with incoming freshmen a lot about challenging their beliefs and taking steps outside their comfort zones, so I think this post is relevant to some of my summer discussions! I hope that this post may be thought-provoking or valuable to anyone reading it!

The idea of forgoing the comfortable certainties of life for the unknown has been a constant theme in my life, especially throughout college. When I began my time at WVU, I had a perfectly mapped plan for my future. I was on-track to graduate with my Master’s Degree in Occupational Therapy in just five years. During the Spring 2012 semester, I began to realize that I wasn’t very interested in my major classes. Instead, I discovered I really liked the material from the speech pathology and audiology course I had decided to take as an elective. Changing majors and deciding to become a speech pathologist instead of an occupational therapist would mean tackling an additional year of undergraduate work, plus two years of graduate studies. I could think of plenty of reasons why I shouldn’t take the leap into the unknown world of a new career path. I’d be in college for so much longer than I’d planned. Studying speech pathology would probably be really tough, and I might not be smart enough or patient enough for the job. I’ll end up in so much student loan debt.  What if I don’t get into grad school? What if I find I don’t even like speech pathology? After all, I had only taken one class in the subject. What if occupational therapy really was the right choice?

This kind of situation has appeared in my personal relationships, too. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that no longer seems like a good fit but struggle to change anything because the unknown is just so…unknown? Maybe the two of you want different things in life even though your partner is really nice, maybe you want something you aren’t getting from the relationship, or maybe he or she is a straight up jerk? I know I’ve been there. It’s tough! I’ve also had times where my life is so intertwined with another person’s that sticking to my familiar, though unsatisfying, situation seems easier than leaving. After all, I know the person, the relationship, and I don’t have to be subject to any uncomfortable, unexpected circumstances or unknowns. Again, I’d think of plenty of reasons not to change my situation. What if I never meet anyone else? What if I make a mistake in deciding to move on? Maybe things aren’t that bad…right?

In a book I picked up in a Half Price Books Store this summer, I read a sentence that went something like this: “We must really love our limits. Why else would we place them upon ourselves via self-limiting thoughts?” In my academic situation, and plenty of others (like relationships), that’s just what I’d been doing! I placed limits on myself and found reasons why I should remain clinging to the way I had envisioned my life to be. Even though I wasn’t completely happy with my major or relationship anymore, and imagined I could be happier doing something else, I could still convince myself that I was relatively comfortable and secure with my situation. I had no idea what to expect if I changed my path. The unknown future was scary!

But what would I stand to lose by not changing my career path? I’d lose plenty of money finishing a degree I didn’t want. I’d lose my sense of self-respect by trying to motivate myself to do something I didn’t really see myself doing as a career. Most of all, I’d lose my chance to live the best life I possibly could. The same goes for relationships – I’d lose my chance to pursue other relationships, probably ones that would be a better match. I’d probably lose my sense of independence by continuing to entwine my life with someone else's. And again, I’d lose my chance to live the life I really wanted.

Ultimately, I deferred my acceptance into the M.O.T program at WVU, and applied to the speech pathology and audiology major. I was accepted, and although this semester (my first in the program) was extremely challenging, I feel certain that I picked a career I will enjoy. Additionally, taking that leap into the unknown yielded some other great things in my life that would not have happened otherwise. Although changing majors set me behind a year, I was able to study abroad in Ireland during my extra time before starting my program, and that truly helped me embrace the unknown and cultivate my sense of adventure. My best friend always says that if I’m unhappy about something, then something needs to change. That could mean your attitude (like when I get mad about traffic and obviously there’s nothing I can do about it!), but it could also mean changing your situation. I encourage all of you to recognize any self-limiting thoughts and change them into thoughts of encouragement instead. If there’s something that’s making you unhappy and you’re only clinging to it out of familiarity or fear of the unknown, it’s time for a change. Take that leap into the unknown, and embrace it as an adventure towards a better you. Step out of your comfort zone, and into a world of possibilities! I really believe that’s where self-growth happens, and have seen that evidenced in my own life. Most of all, recognize that the dissatisfaction of staying the same is more painful than the scariness of making a change. Go face that fear of uncertainty!

Olivia J

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